Back To The Rivers Of Belief
by enervate
Summary: Sanzo's reflection on his childhood as Koryu and the link to his life as Genjo Sanzo. Sort-of sequel to 'Paper Planes And Paper Cuts'. R&R, onegai!


**Back To The Rivers Of Belief.  
**Sequel To 'Paper Planes And Paper Cuts'  
A Gensomaden Saiyuki Fanfiction By enervate

**A/N : **Sequel as it seems, but altogether a whole new one. This fiction is dedicated to **everyone who reviewed Paper Planes And Paper Cuts**. But if you did not read that fiction, it doesn't matter. You'll understand everything anyway, that is, if you remember all those times when Sanzo recited the 'Vanity Of Vanities' in the Gensomaden episodes. Oh yeah, this piece is quite laden with Buddhism. I'm not trying to preach here, but all the quotes from Lord Buddha himself is indeed spoken by him. And most of it? Fascinatingly true. 

And I don't know where Minekura-sensei got that Vanity Of Vanities, but I guess that was made up. Nonetheless, philosophical!

Told from Genjo-Sanzo's POV.

**Genre: **Angst / Romance / PG13

**Disclaimer: **Minekura Kazuya owns G.Saiyuki and I own a lot of orange paper planes [hahaha!].

**Back To The Rivers Of Belief**

**1st Movement : Vanity**

"Vanity Of Vanities.

Kill the Buddha when you meet him,  
Kill the Father as you meet him,  
Never be captivated by other words or actions,  
But live life the way you are living it."

Everyone in the hall was baffled, for the exception of that _saru_ and my two other companions. But no one uttered a single word. They asked me to preach. I've done what I should do. I preach.

Preach only the principles of what my beloved master once told me.

The Vanity Of Vanities.

The four sentence that never left my mind since I am under his tutelage once upon a time.

Once upon a time,.... it seem so far ago, when I lie underneath the stars, with the wind tenderly fanning my face, with his fingers slowly playing with my blond hair, with his arms tightly embracing me.

Vanity of my vanities.

And so I'll be living my life the way I did for so many years, since he left for Heaven.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**2nd Movement : Believe**

"Koryu,..."

"_Hai_[Yes], Sanzo-sama... _nani_ [what]?" I asked softly, my eyes adverting from the fish that I'm feeding towards his gentle face. Komyo Sanzo, the one and only person whom I ever loved in my life, stood there like an angel from the Heavens above, smiling ever radiantly. He watched the gold _koi _fishes frolicked in the pond, circling around the stems of lotus pods and blossoming pink buds. The fishes were so happy, and contented with their little game. Sanzo-sama just continued his gaze on the fishes, as though as he had forgotten his intentions to tell me something. I shrugged, and returned to my duties of feeding the fishes. 

Slowly, I dipped my hand into the bag full of breadcrumbs, and tossed a handful into the waters. Gold, red and white swirled around as the fishes raced to get their lunch, all impatient and already forgetting their tag match then. I saw Sanzo-sama's smile turned upwards into a small smirk. 

"Never just believe in anything,  
Never believe in anything simply because you have heard it,  
Never believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many,  
Never believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books,  
Never believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders,  
Never believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations,  
But after observation and analysis, when you find that something agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all,  
then accept it and live up to it."

Came those words from his lips. I frowned as my mind struggle to remember them. "The continuation of the Vanity Of Vanities?" I asked curiously, looking up at him. He shook his head. "No."

"Hmm? Another of your principles of life?" I made another wildcard guess, with no avail. Again he shook his head.

"Then? Another thing that you want me to preach?" I guessed again. And again, he shook his head. "That, was quoted directly from Lord Buddha, Koryu. That was his words." Sanzo-sama answered patiently. My eyes widened. The all-compassionate Lord Buddha spoke those words? Somehow I could hardly believe it myself.

That set of phrases sounded almost like the Vanity Of Vanities itself. Those words are laid in an intricate and yet harmonized verse, filled with integrity and one aim : to speak. Yes, to speak of the honest truth of this World, and the corruptness that was manifested upon everyone. 

Believe.

_Shinji._

Suddenly I felt a hand softly rustling my hair. Looking up, I saw Sanzo-sama smiling down at me. "Koryu, forget about what I aforementioned, okay?"

"Why?" I questioned. I felt that those words are pretty worth the time to memorize, for they, like the Vanity Of Vanities, speaks the Truth clearly. 

"Just,... forget about it." With a dismissing wave my beloved master walked back inside, leaving me confused. I stared at his leaving figure, and then to the bag of breadcrumbs in my hand. Looking at the fishes who had just resumed their game of tag, I asked. 

"Why?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**3rd Movement : Voice**

"You keep on calling me. I couldn't just ignore you." Sanzo-sama said, smiling. Clutching my broomstick tightly, I blushed and muttered "I did not call you..."

It was another calm autumn's afternoon, with a clear azure sky, white puffy clouds and gentle breeze. I was told to swept the whole compound of the temple. I had just finished the main garden, and went directly to the small garden adjacent to Sanzo-sama's private quarters. I did not notice his presence there, for he was missing. So, without much hesitation, I swept the garden, piling up crisp golden leaves into neat heaps, when suddenly I saw that all-too-familiar silhouette behind a tall sturdy tree.

He was there, leaning against the tree, smoking on his pipe. He must have known of my presence there. But he said nothing. So I continued my task. Noticing where he stood, I commented.

"Sanzo-sama, why are you smoking here? Are you afraid that the others might see?"

"No. I am not bothered by their opinions."

"Oh well,..." I said, glancing down at the stack of leaves on my feet. "Can you do me a favor, Sanzo-sama? You could just help me burn all these leaves, so I don't need to sweep anymore." 

He smiled. I don't know whether it was a yes or a no.

"Koryu the river-drifter,..." My heart winced at the calling of that name. Koryu the river-drifter. Koryu the drowned.

Everyone in the temple mocked me with that nickname, from the incident when I came into Komyo Sanzo-sama's arms, into this world where he kept me alive.

"I just don't understand why they called you so." Sanzo-sama said, still keeping that smile upon his face. I sighed, and answered. "Honestly, I don't mind."

Honestly, I don't mind at all. It feels nice to be compared to the grand and solemn river that I was teased upon, the majestic Yangzi [1] River. I could remember the silent calling of yesterday, as if it was only a moment ago that my beloved master scooped me up from drowning in that blue blue waters.... so gently, so tenderly... 

I surrendered to his arms, I surrendered to him,... altogether with my heart and soul. 

I drowned into him after being drowned in the Yangzi River. 

**A/N on [1] = **AXN translated the river as Yangzi River. From my opinion, it might have been the Yangtze River. I'm still trying to verify this...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**4th Movement : Drown**

It was a dark day, because of the rain. I forgot altogether about the past, I forgot everything about myself that happened before.

I did not know whether it was a bliss in disguise, or it was more disheartening then.

I could only remember darkness. And tidal waves. And clashes of thunder. And more and more rain. 

I could remember the sense of drowning underneath the river that was me. I could barely breathe. I sank below. Submerged. Lost. Gone.

I could remember nothing less than my hands reaching out to the surface, to the air outside of this prison of water. My eyes hurt a lot as the pressure of the water pushed me down, further into the gateway to the Netherworld. Am I,... dying?

I am suffocating,... help me,... someone, save me! Be it the Devil, be it the Saint,... save me!

My eyes hurt,... I cannot see anymore,... it is so dark here...

When suddenly a strong hand pulled me out of the water...

... and everything went black.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**5th Movement : Reborn**

I felt like a phoenix resurrecting from ashes. I felt like a newborn being cradled tenderly in those arms.

"Awake?"

Startled, I looked up. My hands were weak, my lips all cold and frozen,... I drowned.

Drowned?

So now, am I in Hell? 

Slowly, I got up from those gentle arms, and struggled on my feet. I looked around in amazement. I never knew Hell could be so comforting. Or,... 

Is this Heaven?

"... Heaven...?" I whispered as I touched a table near me. It felt cold to my touch. Suddenly I feel two strong arms hugging me from behind.

"No. This is not Heaven." 

"So where am I?" I demanded, turning around. I found myself staring into two enigmatic orbs. Those eyes withheld my gaze in such tenderness that I found myself absorbed totally into it. I saw nothing but sincere love in those eyes. Something, something I never felt before.

Slowly, I found myself inching closer to the stranger, and I placed my arms around him. He felt so warm, so comforting to my shivering body. I pulled him closer, and embraced him tightly. He made no declination, but instead, wrapped me tightly with his robe sleeves. I smiled. I feel like being tightly bonded with blankets. Mmm. So warm, so tender.

"Do you like here?" He asked softly. I nodded, still smiling in elation. This warmness was a true contrast to the chilling waters that I was trapped under just now....

"Who are you, child?" He asked softly, gazing into my amethyst eyes. I looked up, captivated again by his magnetic stare and his soft smile.

"Koryu." I answered one-word, astonished that I found the courage to talk underneath that bewitching spell. 

He smiled, and nodded. "Koryu,..."

"Your hair is of celestial blond, brighter than stars and the sun itself. Your eyes are of the deepest purple, deeper than the morning glory flower itself. Koryu, why did you call me?"

"I called you???" I thought I had heard wrongly. I looked at him with eyes wide opened. 

"I saved you because I heard your distant calling." He said softly. But I denied calling out. I remembered nothing came out from my mouth when I drowned. I tried screaming, but those waves pulled me down. Only bubbles came out...

I was truly puzzled.

"Never mind, Koryu,... forget about it." He said, pulling me down onto his shoulders. I laid my head there, enjoying the time there.

I feel so secured.

Sense of security, it is washing over me...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**6th Movement : Transaction **

"Sanzo-sama, why did you take me as your student? Everyone hates me, and you are just so weird! How can you accept someone that everyone hated as your student?" I asked him boldly. Honestly I am quite curious myself. He was a person whom everyone admired and respected, but he took a downright dirt like me. I wondered why.

"Koryu, I heard your calling." He answered calmly. I raised one eyebrow. "I called you? Since when?"

"The day I found you,... I heard your voice. I know I could not let you go. You keep on calling for me."

"Really?" I frowned. So, I am quite an annoying brat then. I kept on calling for him. How pathetic! I couldn't believe myself. 

"Koryu, one day, you will hear that voice too. And then, you will understand." he said gently, staring at me with his beautiful eyes. I frowned even deeper in response to his words.

"Hmm, well, if I heard someone keep on calling for me, I will go directly to that person and tell him to shut up." 

Little did I know,... 

... I did the same thing later. The same thing happened to me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**7th Movement : Intermezzo**

And then,... I lost my beloved Komyo Sanzo-sama...

I journeyed far and wide in search for his lost Sutra, and also on the name of Revenge. I wanted to seek revenge. I wanted to destroy those who had destroyed him. 

I heard many rumors. Many spoke of the new band of demons who rebelled against peace on Togenkyo. They resides in the West of Togenkyo, near the areas of Tenjinku.

So, my destination is there.

But little did I know, my course adverted from the West to somewhere beyond civilization. I don't even know why I went there in the first place.

But then,... I don't even know the true road to the West. No proper roads were built then. I made my way on feet. My legs were often sore, blistered, and painful, but on the name of Revenge, I survived. 

I wanted to avenge on the death of my master. 

I was scorned wherever I went. Many undermined my aptitude in handling the reputable post of a High Priest, of a Sanzo. But they were wrong. So wrong.

Koryu is no more a mere child. He had left behind another new person. He had emerged from chrysalis.

He is now Genjo Sanzo.

I don't know where I am heading. I let my heart decide. I know one day I will reach the end, the destination...

And I never knew that in this somnolent journey I will find another light in my life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**8th Movement : Chains**

I woke up, startled. I thought I heard the clanging of chains in my dreams. But it sounded so true... so true...

Clang. 

There goes that annoying sound again. I shut my ears, trying to blank out all those noise I heard since then.

Clang.

Again! What the fuck is happening???

Already five years since I left that temple, where all the dark events of my childhood as Koryu ended... and where I started my life anew as Genjo Sanzo.

Clang.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! What the fuck??! 

Clang.

I'm going to kill that person in the morning. Meanwhile, I'll settle with my sleep.

Clang.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**9th Movement : Interlude**

I saw a flash of gold as I stepped into that barren lands. I don't know why I actually come to such a damnable place. But I swore something pulled me here, like an invisible chain dragging me here...

This place is pitiful. Everything is sorrowful here. It was so dry, so hot, so empty...

Except for one corner of that cave, something strange. 

It was a smaller chamber of the caves in that area. Stalactites and stalagmites were present, yes, but in almost a bizarre way. It crisscrossed in the most weird way possible that the whole locale resembled nothing less than a prison. A Nature-made prison. 

I don't think it was significant, anyway. So I left. 

Clang.

Not again?????

I sighed in exasperation as I turned back. I swore that sound came from the so-called 'prison'.

I took a few steps forward, and when I laid my eyes on that prison...

The sight shocked me.

Golden eyes locked into mine. So soft those gaze were, that I could have just crush them with the sheer force of my mind. My eyes looked down, and saw a weak body, and hands and legs...

... all chained.

And when I look up, into those golden orbs I stare, again. 

"You are so damn annoying." I muttered, audible enough for both of us to hear. The weak child looked up, tentative. Despite his crumbled body and shattered self, he managed to reply. 

"I did not call you."

How bold. He managed to ruin my sleep and now, to say such things? 

"Don't you ever dare to call me again." I said, giving him a reminder. He nodded softly, but as our eyes locked again....

The sheer dumb innocence in it made me sympathize with this poor child.

"Come." I said, extending my hand towards him. My hands accidentally brushed against those ferocious 'bars' of the 'prison',...

... and like magic, it disappeared, as though as it evaporated in the hot sun.

I was astonished by the disappearance of the 'bars', when suddenly a hand took mine, it also took me back into reality.

Son Goku took me back to where I belonged.

Back to the Rivers of Belief.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

**10th Movement : Finale**

Never just believe in anything,  
Never believe in anything simply because you have heard it,  
Never believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many,  
Never believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books,  
Never believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders,  
Never believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations,  
But after observation and analysis, when you find that something agrees with reason and is conductive to the good and benefit of one and all,  
then accept it and live up to it.

The journey to the West ahead of us is much a turbulent one.

I accept the fact that we are destined to walk on this Road of Life together. 

But as I stood here, underneath the evening horizons and the fading sun, I looked up, and knew something, someone will be there, beyond the setting skies.

Komyo Sanzo will be there, smiling at me from behind the clouds.

The sky is blue, Sanzo-sama,... and the paper plane is orange.

_"The orange in the plane took out the blue in the skies, don't you think so, Koryu? It contrasted beautifully."_

_"It is beautiful."_

I never forget those words. I never forget the blue skies and the orange paper plane either.

"Sanzo, what are you looking at?" My young disciple Son Goku questioned as I stared on ahead into the cerulean skies, still captivated by the significance of it.

"Nothing that you will understand." I muttered in response. Goku pouted. Looking back down, I took a good look at him.

I was once that small kid too, only live for the love and affection of my own master.

"...well, maybe someday you will understand." I amended my words as I saw the sun shining brightly upon Goku's face.

**The End Of Back To The Rivers Of Belief**

**A/N : **Reviews, onegai! I guess this is the finale to the **Paper Planes And Paper Cuts**. This is specially dedicated to the ones who supported me so far in my writings. You people return me to the Rivers of my Belief. 

Review! Review! Love you people!


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